The Pressure of a Wedding
Your wedding day is quickly approaching. What started off as a dream for a day that will be everything your ever dreamt about is also quickly becoming the day you had nightmares about.
Many couples tend to get caught up in making their wedding day perfect. There is nothing wrong with that but, sorry to bring you back to reality, your wedding day will not be perfect and thank God for that. Thoughts of doves flying in perfect circles above your head are just not going to happen. Someone is going to get lost on his or her way to your ceremony and/or your reception. Your flower girl is going to cry all the way down the aisle.
What happened to change things?
You have just entered the Twilight Zone: a space between dreams and reality. It is a place that puts you right smack in the middle of: financial considerations, family feuds, the weather, traditions and modern conceptions of a wedding. You have no where to run to and, although a relative or Wedding Coordinator may be in charge of the day, all the decisions fall firmly on the couples back.
Sounds rather negative, doesn’t it? What you have forgotten in this whole equation is that you and your fiance are in love. You will be spending the rest of your life together. If you can survive this wedding day, you can survive anything that can happen in your wedded life
You have forgotten the number one rule of getting married. It is your wedding. Not your mothers, aunts or grandmothers. You are entitled to have the day you want so get ready to accept the fact that some things will not go perfectly.
Consider the couple that had reserved a beautiful location in a local park. Susan and Jeremy were to be married at 4 PM and everyone was in place. Everyone that is except for the minister who was to marry them. By 4:30, and many phone calls later, the officiant still could not be located. Jeremy’s mother, who had become an Internet-ordained minister performed a ceremony for them but was uncertain as to the legalities. I was contacted and within two hours had calmed the couple and their families. Just as we were to enter the reception and hold a ceremony on the dance floor, the minister showed. He had fallen asleep and missed the first wedding in over 30 years. Susan and Jeremy decided against having the minister and were happily married on the dance floor. As Susan said: “Jeremy and I believe that everything happens for a reason, The love and support from our friends and family, and the kindness of others made our wedding day one we will never forget.”
Now what can you do to ease the pressure of your own wedding day? KISS! By that I do mean Keep It Simple Stupid. Do not over plan your day by scheduling things to the exact minute. Allow for some delays. It is acceptable for the bride to be about 15 minutes late for her own wedding. It is not acceptable for the groom to be late. Remember that if the ceremony begins late, the social hour will either have to be cut short or the dinner will be served cold.
Three days before the wedding you will be feeling like you are no longer getting married for your own sake but for the family and friends. You want to elope and forget the whole thing. Take some time that day to go out together for dinner. Tell your family and friends not to schedule anything for that night, as you will not be present. Just the two of you, alone and then you can practice the KISS that you will share after your officiant pronounces you husband and wife. And know that everything will be all right as long as you have each other.
You must obtain a Marriage License from a City, Town or Village Clerks office. It is not necessary to obtain that license from the town in which you live or will be married in. The license can be issued by any clerks office and used anywhere in the Commonwealth. I have seen fees vary from a low of $10 and $5 for a copy of the license to $40 and $15 for a copy of the license.
