Preparing Children for Life
by Nicolette Groeneveled
Today’s education system promotes
“preparing children for life.” Let’s reflect on that.
Joseph Pearce, an author and speaker, says,
“The first thing I would say about any true
educational system is that it is not founded on the
notion that we are preparing a child for life…
The idea that we’re going to train a child at seven
to get a good job at age twenty-seven is a travesty
of profound dimension.”
What if we, adults, were told to spend our adult years in “adult school” in the name of “preparing us for our retirement”? We’d say, “I’ll put money in an RSP, but leave me alone! I’ve got a life to live NOW!” Yet, we sit children in desks for 12 years and tell them, “Cheer up! It’s so you can have a good life later!”
We take children out of the present, focus them on the future and what do they learn? To discount their childhood? How many children have you heard say, “I can’t wait till I grow up!”
An even greater tragedy: in “preparing children for life”, the present moment is lost. Young children are naturally locked in the present moment; they don’t worry about tomorrow or next week; right now is all that matters. Along comes conditioning, magnified by schooling, and our once-present children get locked into reliving the past and thinking about the future.
Emphasizing preparing children for life gives the message that children are not enough as they are but need to become something in order to be okay. Children are seen as incomplete beings who need to be “done to” and “done for” by outside forces rather than being trusted to possess the natural instincts and drives they need to propel them towards functional adulthood. Schools tell children they’d better acquire all the government’s prescribed knowledge and skills so they can “be something” when they grow up, and they pressure them to figure out as early as possible what that “something” will be. This creates “not good enough” feelings in children as well as a fear of the future because if the children don’t meet these expectations, they’ll be lost as adults and not be able to “live”. School thus becomes a matter of survival rather than a joyful means for discovering the world.
Joseph Pearce says that ideally, “We don’t prepare for life, we equip children with the means to live fully at whatever stage they are in.” This eliminates the emphasis on the future and maintains children’s ability to enjoy themselves and their world exactly as they are.
Finally, the idea that we adults should be preparing children for life is, in my opinion, arrogant. Who are we to believe we know what’s best for every child? And how is it that government officials presume to know what each child will need to fulfill his/her life purpose?
Returning to my “adult school” example, if some official decided what I need for my retirement, I might be told to learn to play golf, drive a Motor home and swallow medications. Ridiculous! That’s not a direction I see my life taking, and those are things I’m not interested in! Yet we prescribe a blanket curriculum for children and tell them that even if they’re not interested in X, X and X, those subjects “will prepare them for their futures”.
We of the alternative schooling persuasion, on the other hand, say, “Remove ‘imposed exposure’”. The response: “But if we don’t show kids what’s out there, how will they know what they want to do?” Why not trust that your child will naturally be drawn to that which will serve his/her greatest learning? In this information age, children are exposed to virtually everything! Not to mention the human contacts they have that open multiple worlds to them!
But people are concerned children won’t learn the many important and interesting things out there “in time”. Define “in time”? Sure, it’s easier for a child to pick up a second language, but an adult driven by passion can also become proficient in a new language. Sure, a younger child has a better chance of being a terrific gymnast, but an adult, too, can enjoy gymnastics or find another satisfying activity.
Then comes the argument, “Well, my child has a natural talent for _____; if I don’t push her, she won’t reach her full potential!” But talent and passion are two very different things. Passion never needs to be pushed – it is motivation itself! While talent that is pushed often results in resentment or a lifeless, going-through-the-motions performance.
Youth often complain that adults have forgotten what it was like to be young. Where education is concerned, I think that is especially true. We conformed our way through school, hated or just tolerated school, and yet making our children’s educational decisions, we go back to what didn’t work for us. Is it only because we don’t know any other way of educating? Too many alternatives have been tried and tested for that excuse to be plausible.
It’s time to stop “preparing children for life”. Instead, we need to break the mold we were brought up in and offer our children a healthier, more “organic”, more joy-maintaining way to be as they grow up.
Nicolette Groeneveld
Indigo Sudbury Campus
Nicolette taught Junior High French Immersion for 10 years. During that time, she was appreciated for her sunny personality, how genuinely she cared about her students and for the fact that she nurtured not only her students' academic growth but also their personal growth. Nicolette delighted in her students but became increasingly disillusioned with a system that, to her, holds too many contradictions, counters what is natural in children and, ultimately, does damage to children. Looking for a different career path, Nicolette found the Sudbury Valley School's website and immediately knew she had found the approach to education that rings true to her heart. She spent her next year working with co-founder, Ric, to create the Indigo Sudbury Campus.
Nicolette's other accomplishments include being a published author of two novels and an accompanying activity guide; compiler and co-author of a French poetry collection for adolescents; a passionate public speaker; and an inspiration and guide to hundreds of teenagers.
Nicolette is currently working on a screenplay through which she hopes to awaken the masses to the limitations of the public education system.
